Oof. If you were expecting a lighthearted blog post from me this week, I’m sorry to disappoint.

I’ve procrastinated writing this post for a while, even though I know it’s a much-needed topic to discuss. Why have I put it off? Because I grew up in a judgmental environment and am still trying to allow Jesus to work in me to remove those wicked tendencies.

That’s difficult for me to admit, but it’s true. And being judgmental does not, at all, benefit our relationship with the Lord, nor with other believers, so it’s high time to leave those tendencies in the past.

Let’s heal, y’all.

Author Note: In this post, I am not referring to recognizing sin as sin as “being judgmental”. What I’m referring to as “judgmental tendencies” are passing judgment on others, even fellow Christians, for simple things such as the way they dress, the way they worship, etc. OR pointing out the sinful natures of others in a rude and condescending way rather than offering gentle correction and pointing them to Christ.

What Does The Bible Say About Judging Others?

Let’s review a few verses on the topic of judgment.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5, KJV

Here, Jesus tells us that we are not to judge others, so that we will not be judged ourselves in the same way. Because, in reality, we’re just as bad as everyone else, even if we can’t recognize it.

We often point out what we perceive as the “bad” in others (such as gawking at someone for having a blue streak in their hair, just because it’s not our style), but fail to realize that we also go to the hair salon to get our hair dyed in a “natural” shade. Or, when it comes to actual sin, we may gossip about others who are having an affair, when in reality, if we were to see that “cheater” or “liar” on the street, we would fake a smile at them and act like their our best friend after we’ve been downing them…which is also a form of lying! We’re often blind to our own sins, because we think we can justify them, but crucify others for the same things with our judgmental words.

Jesus tells us that we are to address our own sins so that we can see clearly before correcting others, if they actually need biblical correction (not applicable for the hair scenario!). So, instead of passing judgment left and right, the Bible tells us to check ourselves and make sure we’re doing as we should be first.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

John 7:24, KJV

In this verse, Jesus tells us that we are not to judge others based on appearances, but instead judge from a biblical perspective. This does not mean that we get to condemn them or be judgmental, but instead, we’re to point others to what God’s Word says about the situation in love. So, rather than looking at someone who has a tattoo sleeve and declaring, “This person is a heathen! How can I tell? Just look at them!”, we instead should get to know the person before we cast them off. In fact, this person may be a fellow brother or sister in Christ if we give them a chance instead of immediately judging them based on appearances.

This also means we shouldn’t make assumptions about a person’s actions based on what someone else has said, because rumors are not always accurate. For example, when I was a freshman in high school, a group of kids in my homeroom made up a rumor about me committing a sin, and spread it around the school, when in fact the rumor was not at all rooted in truth. This resulted in further judgment and exclusion from others, who did not know me at all, and who didn’t take the time to get to know me to find out that, hey, Allyson doesn’t do that thing everyone’s saying she does. Now, if I was actually participating in the sin they accused me of, biblical correction should have been administered, but that does not at all justify the way they condemned, ostracized, and bullied me. We are to judge righteously–like Jesus Christ did, by gentle correction and explaining the Truth to others in love–not by causing further distress.

Don’t think gossip hurts anyone? Let me stop you there. That embarrassment over that entire situation my freshman year still comes back and haunts me–despite not even committing the sin they accused me of–and I’ve been out of high school for over ten years. Therefore, just don’t give in to gossip. Don’t create it, and don’t spread it. Jesus didn’t, and we’re to follow His example, not the temptations of the world.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Ephesians 4:29, KJV

Lastly, in Ephesians, Paul tells us to not let any words come out of our mouth that are meant for corruption, and instead use our mouths to edify and minster to others.

What does “corrupt communication” mean? Let’s see…

“Did you see that hideous shirt she has on?”

“I can’t stand that contemporary music they’ve got playing in the sanctuary before the service.”

“She just raises her hands like that during the worship songs because she wants attention.”

“That book is not fit for Christians because it mentioned [insert negative content that was actually used as an example of sin, and was not glorified, but was instead used to show a redemptive character arc] and no Christian reader should give it a chance.”

I could go on, and on, and on.

How do any of these comments edify or minister to anyone? They don’t. And instead of just letting them roll of our tongues or off our keyboards with no thought of how it could affect the perception of others, we need to start filtering our thoughts before we open our mouths or word-vomit in an online tirade.

So, All That Being Said… How Do We Overcome Judgmental Tendencies as Christians?

For me, personally, the biggest thing that has helped me recognize my tendency to be judgmental was when I first began to distance myself from the environment in which I developed the tendencies.

Think about it… a sin is most likely to be universally accepted as “normal” when everyone in an environment is doing it; however, only until someone steps out of the environment and gains a new perspective by being convicted of that sin can they determine that their former environment was thriving in toxicity.

In addition, The Bible warns us:

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

1 Corinthians 15:33, kjv

So, if we continue to hang around people who are constantly judging others or participating in toxic behavior, we’ll be dwelling in a toxic environment and will be toxic ourselves. On the other hand, if we distance ourselves from those who constantly judge others, we’ll eventually learn that those behaviors are not Christlike, and will be able to start our healing journeys.

Once we recognize that we have been indulging in the sin of judging others, we need to repent and ask Jesus for forgiveness of that sin, and ask Him to guide us in putting that tendency to rest.

Will the change be instant? Probably not. Unlearning behaviors takes time.

And sometimes, even if we are able to create some distance between ourselves and a toxic environment, it doesn’t mean that we can sever the relationship completely. Because sometimes it’s family. Sometimes it’s coworkers. It may even be some members of our church. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t recognize judgmental behavior when we see it and choose to not constantly dwell with those people or engage in that type of behavior anymore. We have a choice, my friend. Choose to follow Jesus’s lead rather than the gossip mill. We’ll be so much better off if we do.

Talk to Me, Arrowheads!

I know this isn’t a typical post for Authoring Arrowheads, but again, it’s been on my heart for a while. If you have any other Christian Living topics in mind that you would like for me to discuss, I’m all ears! Drop your recommendations or thoughts in the comments. ❤

Aim high, stay strong, and always hit your mark.

-Allyson 😀