Though my husband, Josh, and I have been married for five years, we still get called “newlyweds” a lot. We were both in our late twenties when we got married, so I don’t think we get called this because we still look young, nor because we’ve recently reached other first milestones as a couple.

My hypothesis may be wrong as all get-out, but I fully believe our family and friends consider my husband and I newlyweds for four specific reasons, and they all bubble down to this: after all this time, we still genuinely love being around one another, because we put God first in our relationship.

We’re Each Other’s Best Friend

My husband and I didn’t know each other until we were set up on a blind date a decade ago, but that didn’t stop us from becoming the best of friends early on in our dating relationship. Before we had even met in person, we were messaging one another and I knew I had to meet this dude because he loves Toy Story as much as I do. As you may know from previous blog posts, I grew up extremely shy and still struggle with social anxiety, but aside from our first date (because who isn’t nervous on one of those?!), opening up to and being myself around Josh came easy from the beginning. We have inside jokes that we still repeat now that began in those early days of getting to know each other, and we still laugh just as hard about them now as we did back then. 😛

While we each had best friends of our own before meeting each other, and continue to hang out with them when we can, Josh and I still love spending time with one another. If we know the other person is interested in a show we’re watching, we’ll only watch it with them because we want to enjoy it and discuss it with them (for example, a few months ago, we had a straight up field day watching The Lying Game together on Netflix. XD). We’ve found hobbies we like doing together like putting 1,000-piece puzzles together and have literally stayed up until four in the morning on weekends doing just that. We find each other hilarious and roast each other constantly, but never in a mean way.

All this to say, Josh and I don’t just claim to love one another because we’re married and we have to; we genuinely like one another and that makes loving each other so much easier.

We Don’t Speak Badly About One Another When the Other Isn’t Around

Y’all, I have nothing to complain about. This man is a saint.

And, being he’s my best friend, why should I have the audacity to complain about him to others?

Of course, I don’t agree with or understand everything he does (and he can say the same thing about me) and have slipped up and grumbled on occassion, but neither of us make a habit of badmouthing everything that irks us about the other to anyone who will listen. Unlike like the majority of married couples that call us “newlyweds” with a snarky bite. But I’ll get back to that in a second. 😛

It seems that modern society has a big problem with married couples who actually have one another’s backs. I have seen more and more content lately talking about how wives who have nothing bad to say about their husbands are considered “brainwashed” or are shunned by their friend groups because everyone else in the group does nothing but speak negatively about their spouse.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you have married your spouse because you loved them and wanted to be around them? I’m convinced that the majority of wives who believe hating their husband is normal, rather than wanting to marry their groom out of love, needed a body to put in a suit because what they were really after was the aesthetic wedding and pictures to match for bragging rights on social media.

But I digress.

Author’s Note: Please know that I’m not saying there isn’t any reason we should ever call out our spouse’s shortcomings. If a spouse is abusive or is vehemently going against what the Bible says and expects you to follow along with them, then by all means speak out against it in love, especially if there are children who may be negatively affected by your spouse’s poor actions. What I’m speaking out against is how a lot of women just hate on their husbands because they think it’s fun.

We Also Get the “You Just Wait Until…” Comments A LOT, and that Proves to Me That We’re Doing Something Right!

Coincidentally, the people we get the “newlyweds” comment from the most are also the ones who constantly begin follow-up sentences in the same conversation with “you just wait until…”

The “You Just Wait Until…” Hall of Fame:

“You just wait until you’ve been married for 5 years. You’ll be sick and tired of each other by then.”

“Y’all just wait until you have that first youngin and you can’t sleep through the night.”

“You just wait until the house starts falling apart and see how happy you are then.”

And Yet, After All This Time, We’re Still in Love and the Proverbial Poo Has Yet to Hit the Fan…

In our ten total years as a couple and our five years of marriage, Josh and I have reached several of the “you just wait until…” milestones unhappy married folk have tried to scare us with, and guess what? After going through them, our marriage is stronger than ever.

We recently celebrated five years of marriage and spent five days on vacation together, stuffed in a small car on the road for hours upon hours on the way there and back, with no music playing because we had so much fun talking to one another and playing road trip games. Especially the ones we made up ourselves. XD We’re far from sick of each other.

We have been waiting to have that first youngin. We’ve experienced over a year and a half of infertility at this point. Sometimes worrying about that makes me unable to sleep at night. But even if God never blesses us with a child of our own, Josh and I are still a family, and a dang good one at that.

We’ve literally had large things fall and damage furniture in our house due to the home manufacturer’s negligence within the first few years of buying the home, but it’s still our home where we’re building our marriage and we couldn’t ask for anything more.

Sometimes, unhappy people see happy people and try their best to sew doubt in the minds of those who are happy that a time is inevitably coming where they’ll no longer be living in their Happily Ever After. The thing is, those unhappy people are miserable toads and believe their experience is universal.

I’m here to tell you it’s not! Happy marriages still exist. And I’ll tell you why they do next.

The #1 Reason Why I Think We Still Get Called Newlyweds Is…

Our marriage isn’t rock-solid and thriving because of anything Josh and I have done on our own. It’s because we submit ourselves, and our marriage, to God daily and seek to honor Him.

It’s a simple as that. When you allow the Lord to lead you as a couple, you’re going to find joy in Him, and love one another more through it. Don’t believe me? Let’s see what His Word says about it.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, ESV

Let’s read that again: “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

A threefold cord isn’t made of you, your husband, and the friend you vent to about him.

It also isn’t a pet you’ve adopted, nor a family member who likes to stick their nose in your business.

No, a threefold cord is made up of the wife, the husband, and the Almighty God Who brought them together and Who is the only One Who can sustain their marriage. For apart from Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). And because Josh and I chose to tie the knot with God on the day we said “I do”, I wholeheartedly believe this is why we have such a strong friendship, why we choose to not talk negatively about one another, and why our marriage has survived all the pitfalls the world swears will make it implode.

The lesson is this: Put God first, and everything else will fall into place. And that goes for more than just marriage advice, my friend. ❤

Talk to Me, Arrowheads!

I know this may seem a bit out of left field compared to what I normally post, but I’ve had the subject matter on my mind for a while and felt the need to tackle it. If you’re married, do you share any of our experiences? If you’re not married, please don’t let those cynical “you just wait until then…” people scare you. God has amazing plans for you. Please don’t doubt that. ❤

Aim high, stay strong, and always hit your mark.

-Allyson 😀