As some of you know, last year, I chose “positivity” as my word of the year. For months, I did my best to stick by the five precepts of positivity I outlined in the post. I stuck to an exercise routine and lost a few pounds, gained a lot more followers here on Authoring Arrowheads, and had my most productive writing year to date. Up until June, I was doing well.
Then came the unexpected changes.
The first was a positive change: my boyfriend switching from a night-shift job to a day-shift job. Though I’m glad I get to see him more now, I initially struggled with finding free time to work on my author goals.
The second change, coming a month later, flipped my mentality switch back to Negative. My boyfriend’s momma, my hopeful future mother-in-law, passed away unexpectedly. I had a good relationship with her, and dealing with grief and the aftermath of her death created one of the toughest seasons of life I’ve ever endured.
I was angry with God for months. I’ve cried my eyes out. I’ve dealt with depressive episodes (and continue to). I’ve developed a strong resentment against people who merely seek attention from this pain that’s crippling me.
And in 2020, I just want peace.
According to Merriam-Webster, peace is defined as:
- A state of tranquility or quiet
- Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions
- Harmony in personal relations
For the last half of 2019, I lived day-to-day buckled into the first row of an emotional roller coaster, sick of the highs and lows.
Negative thoughts controlled my life and brought forth nothing but aggravation. I constantly wondered what I did for nothing to go right.
The selfish actions of others, ones I should be able to lean on during hard times, made me angry and stole my joy. Because I allowed it.
In 2020, I aim to:
- Master the art of maintaining a TRANQUIL mindset to combat negative thoughts, people, and situations.
- Use QUIET time for positive thinking, not dwelling on what may be wrong.
- Filter my words and thoughts of DISQUIETING, repetitive judgmental/critical thoughts.
- Combat OPPRESSIVE self-talk and thoughts with positive affirmations.
- Learn how to better love the positive people in my life, and develop HARMONY with those who have previously caused strife.
Here’s praying 2020 will be the change I need. ❤
Talk to Me, Arrowheads!
What is your designated word of the year? If you had a word of the year last year, how did it affect your outlook? Let me know in the comments!
Aim high, stay strong, and always hit your mark.