Am I a Soulless Author, or Do I Cry When My Characters Are Tortured?

What a title. XD

But really, if you’ve read the The Crush, the first book in my contemporary Christian young adult trilogy, you may be wondering if I’m a soulless author who loves to torture her sweet characters, or if I actually, somewhere behind crafting those gut-wrenching scenes, have a heart?

Well, today, my friend, you’ll find out…

Am I Normally a Crier When it Comes to Sad Books, Movies, and Songs?

When it comes to watching sad movies, my husband picks on me for having, as he calls it, a “heart of ice”. If we end up watching a sad movie, he is more often than not the one who will be shedding tears, while I, apparently, look like an uncaring igloo.

I can count on one hand the amount of movies that made me cry, and, oddly enough, Catching Fire was one of them, so I apparently have a weird level of empathy. XD

I have, however, cried over certain books and songs if the mood has struck me. Ninety-five percent of the times I hear “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift, or “Remember When” by Alan Jackson, I end up crying. I kinda avoid those on my commute to and from work. It’s tougher for books to get tears flowing, but I did get emotional over The Wish by Nicholas Sparks earlier this year, so kudos to Mr. Sparks for warming my heart of ice.

For full disclosure, I actually cry a lot, just not much over sad books, movies, or songs. I’m more of a frustration crier, so when I get overwhelmed, have had a tough day, or have had an argument with someone close to me… waterworks.

So, also in full disclosure, my heart is half ice and half mush under normal circumstances. 😉

The Verdict: Do I Cry While Writing Sad Scenes?

You may be thinking, “Well, if this girl doesn’t cry over sad movies like My Girl or The Fault in Our Stars, then to be sure she didn’t cry over what she did to you know who in The Crush?”

That’s where you are WRONG, my friend!

I tortured that poor, sweet character, in The Crush. Or, well, more accurately, those sweet characters, but even though that ending was in my head for several months before that scene was written, I cried like crazy while writing it. Which may have been why it took me so long to write it that day. Because it killed me to do something so mean to my characters.

But, to be even more honest, I’m pretty sure I got more upset over the more emotionally raw dialogue scenes, and the two other losses Emery endured earlier on in the book. Mostly because I related to those scenes more, as the losses especially, were drawn from real life circumstances.

In case you’re wondering, that scene at the end wasn’t drawn from real life circumstances. That was just a heartbreaking product of my, infamous, half heart of ice. 😉

Looking back on my first two published books, I’m pretty sure I didn’t cry while writing Can’t Beat the Heart of a Carolina Girl, but it was really just a fluffy high school romance, so I’m not sure if there was anything to cry over. Speak Your Mind though… when I wrote Victoria’s anxiety attack scene, I felt all of her pain and fear, and whew… *cries*.

Honestly, I may have cried more while writing Speak Your Mind than I did writing The Crush. XD

So… Will The Rest of The Ballad of Emery Brooks Trilogy Be as Sad as The Crush?

I’m going to be completely honest with you guys… while things are looking up for Emery in books two and three, we can’t really have a good character arc for her without some struggle-buses being thrown her way… and y’all know I like for my characters to deal with the sharp turns struggle buses take. That being said, there will not be another completely unforeseen and cruel twist of events that will make you want to throw the book across a room and uncontrollably sob into a pillow.

Well, at least there hasn’t been another case where I’ve felt the need, as the author, to do that. My heart isn’t that icy.

But, seriously, while there will be some scenes ahead in The Fall that will make you tear up, Emery learns a lot in the book that will result in a much better chain of events for her down the road. Just trust me. 🙂

I can’t wait to share The Fall with you later this year, Lord willing! ❤

Talk to Me, Arrowheads!

My fellow authors: Do you cry when you torture your characters, or are you a full-blown ice witch?

Readers: Sorry I put you through so many tears. I hope they’re worth it. ❤

Aim high, stay strong, and always hit your mark.

-Allyson 😀

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As an author and blogger, my goal is to teach writers that there is a way to write realistic, thought-provoking, redemptive Christian fiction that honors God while not sugarcoating the realities of the world. 

2 thoughts on “Am I a Soulless Author, or Do I Cry When My Characters Are Tortured?

  1. I am stoked to catch up with Emery in The Fall. I sobbed like crazy while reading THAT scene in The Crush, but I know it will make for an even more beautiful story in the end! So far I haven’t put my characters through enormous levels of trauma, but I have teared up for them during emotionally stressful scenes. I heard that E.B. White, who wrote Charlotte’s Web, took 17 (17!!!) attempts recording Charlotte’s Web as an audio book before he did it without crying in the heart-wrenching scene in that book. So authors really do have hearts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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