As Christians we are called to love and serve one another (Galatians 5:13), but sometimes we can get so caught up in serving others and putting their needs first that we neglect our own relationship with God. What many of us need, me included, are firm boundaries that allow us to set limits on activities and people that distract us from our walk with God. Here’s why it’s important for Christians to enforce boundaries, as illustrated by Jesus during His time of ministry.

Jesus Set and Maintained Boundaries

Because Christians are called to serve and minister to others, the word “boundaries” often carries a negative connotation to us. The truth is that boundaries can be biblical!

During His time of ministry on earth before His crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus shared the gospel with crowds of thousands; however, He also knew that in order to serve these massive crowds, He needed to spend one-on-one time with His Father as well. In order to spend quality time with God, Jesus often left the crowds and His disciples to spend time praying alone, as recorded in:

• Matthew 14:23 – Jesus prayed by Himself on the mountain before meeting His disciples back on the boat.
• Luke 5:16 – Great crowds gathered around Jesus after He healed a leper, but this verse tells us that He would step away and “withdraw to desolate places and pray”.
• Mark 1:35-39 – Jesus left His disciples to go pray by Himself in the early morning hours. His disciples didn’t know where He had gone and went to search for Him. When Simon found Him, Jesus told him they should go to the next towns to preach, because that’s why He came. We can infer that He may have been praying about the next places where He would minister.
• Luke 22:39-46 – Perhaps most famously, Jesus prayed alone on the Mount of Olives before His crucifixion, asking God to remove the cup from Him. He ultimately prayed for God’s will to be done. Jesus also told the disciples to pray that they would not enter into temptation.

So, as you can see, if we currently don’t have time to spare to spend one-on-one time with God because we’re spending so much time doing other things, boundaries need to be put in place so that we can put our relationship with God first.

Examples of How Christians Can Set Boundaries

What exactly are boundaries, and how can we set them as Christians? Here are a few examples that demonstrate why boundaries are needed, and how we can enforce them in a biblical way:

Example 1: Dealing with Gossip

The Sunday morning church service has just ended, and you’re talking to a couple who sit near you. They point out that a teen girl and her boyfriend entered the church service fifteen minutes late, and that she came dressed in pajama pants and has multiple piercings. They speculate based on the teen girl wearing pajama pants that the teens may have been up to inappropriate behavior before the service. From their holier-than-thou tones and disgusted facial expressions, it’s obvious they don’t approve of the teens being there. How can you enforce a biblical boundary against gossiping?

Example 1’s Boundary: Shut Down the Gossip

God warns that He will not endure gossip (Psalms 101:5). Knowing this, a way to respond to the couple at your church who are passing judgment about the teens would be to enforce a boundary of not partaking in the gossip by excusing yourself from the conversation or even communicating along the lines of, “God doesn’t like gossip, so I will not continue this conversation.”

You could also stand up for the teens by saying, “We don’t know what they’ve been doing, but we all have fallen short of the glory of God. I’m just glad they chose to spend time with Him today.” This reinforces the boundaries that you’re not letting corrupt communication come from your mouth, and that you know it’s wrong to think of ourselves as more righteous than others, so you won’t be joining them in doing that.

Example 2: Making Time to Spend with God

You love your friends, but they’ve been monopolizing your time. They expect you to hang out with them multiple times a week and have created a group chat that seems to ping-ping-ping nonstop, 24/7, with ongoing conversations. Because of this, you find yourself distracted by your phone while at school or work, and when you’re finally home, the constant notifications keep you from doing anything productive. You haven’t touched your Bible in weeks and know you need to spend consistent time with God. How can you enforce a biblical boundary?

Example 2’s Boundary: Set Limits on Communication

The Do Not Disturb feature is a blessing, y’all. Though I’m not part of an eternally-pinging group chat (Thank the Lord, because I’d go insane), I recently enabled Do Not Disturb during work hours because of how often my phone would stress me out throughout the day with random calls, texts, and notifications from the bane of my existence, Facebook Messenger. Only a select few now have immediate access to my inbox or have calls that go through during the Do Not Disturb hours I’ve set. I didn’t do this to be rude, but to set a boundary for 98% of the people I know who don’t need immediate access to me.

Likewise, for example 2, you could pick a specific time to spend time with God each day and set up a Do Not Disturb policy that does not allow your friends to contact you during that set time. Of course, I think the Do Not Disturb settings allow calls to come through in case of an emergency, but if those privileges are abused and everything becomes an “emergency” for your friends just so they can reach you, shutting your phone off or leaving it in another room while you commune with God may be the best option.

Example 3: Honoring God while Dating

While the Bible tells us to abstain from physical relationships outside of marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5), the person you’re dating is pressuring you to “take things to the next level”. You love your significant other, and you’ve been tempted more often than not to give in. So many people do it with no consequences, so why not? However, you know in your heart that God advises us against doing so out of His love for us and His desire to protect us. How can you set a boundary with your significant other that honors God?

Example 3’s Boundary: Maintaining that You Will Practice Abstinence Before Marriage

In order to prioritize honoring God rather than our own temptations, in this situation, you could choose to create some ground rules with your significant other. For instance, you could choose to limit physical intimacy to kissing and enforce stricter boundaries if that line is crossed. If your significant other continues to pressure you after you’ve informed them of your ground rules, you could tell them, “I am choosing to not willingly dishonor God, and if you love me, you will respect my decision. If you continue to pressure me, I will have to step back from our relationship.”

In this case, it may feel awkward or uncomfortable to be so blunt concerning your boundary, but it will be worth it because you are choosing to honor God over the lusts of the fallen world we live in.

Why It’s Vital for Christians to Enforce Boundaries

Christians, in order for us to be able to fulfill The Great Commission as Jesus describes in Matthew 28:19-20, we first need to make sure our own relationship with God is in good standing. By being able to discern when a boundary is needed in our relationships with others or in our schedules, and following through on enforcing those boundaries, we can better prioritize our relationship with God and have stronger reinforcements in place to protect us from temptations.

Talk to Me, Arrowheads!

What kind of boundaries do you need to enforce in your life that will help you better prioritize your relationship with God? Let me know in the comments!

Aim high, stay strong, and always hit your mark.

-Allyson 😀