Thanks for coming back to Authoring Arrowheads! I know I usually do writing-centered posts on Wednesdays, but today I just want to take it easy and talk about some things I’ve had on my mind lately. And, as you can see from above, I’m calling these little segments “Adventures with Allyson” 🙂 .
I worry an awful lot. Honestly, I make myself sick sometimes with how much I worry about the most random crap. And sometimes, I just look for crap to worry about, when God’s given me a million things to be thankful for. I just graduated from college and already have a full-time job. I have a nice family and a super sweet, loving boyfriend. I published my first novel this year, and it’s doing a little better than I thought it would.
But still… annoying thoughts nag at me constantly.
You haven’t even started your Flash Fiction post this week.
You’re getting chubbier by the minute.
You haven’t prayed in forever.
And that last one gets me every time. My prayer life can best be described as lethargic lately. A couple of years ago, I was reading my Bible everyday and doing my best to please God, but I feel like I’ve put Him on the back-burner recently. I stopped contributing to the Christian blog I had going, most of the praying I do involves blessing the food when I meet my boyfriend for lunch, and my Bible sits untouched between Sunday services now. I didn’t mean for my relationship with God to fizzle out, but I let circumstances happen that prevented me from keeping in touch with Him. And as a result, here I am suffering from a nagging conscience.
I am faaaaaar from perfect, and I know this nagging conscience is the Holy Spirit’s way of hinting around that I need to get back to where I was with God. And so, I will, because I’m getting tired of being this broken person pretending that I’m okay, when Jesus has been standing there with arms stretched wide to heal me this entire time.