Good afternoon Arrowheads,
My mental health is not in a good place after releasing The Crush, so I will be taking a blog hiatus until January. Publishing and writing are draining me and I feel as if I’ve been faking joy and positivity in these areas the past several months. The truth is that I’ve done all I could do and it still is not enough to earn back what I’ve put into bringing these books to life.
After much consideration and prayer, I believe that God is calling me to take a much needed break from writing and publishing books. Publishing success has been an idol for me for the past few years, and even though I’ve written Christian books, I’ve grown distant from God. I don’t pray or read the Bible like I did prior to publishing. I have a lot of pent up anger and resentment, mostly towards myself, for losing joy over the past few years. Writing has been very difficult over the past several months and when I look at my books on the bookshelf, I don’t feel happy, just disappointed, because the books have not been as successful as I’ve hoped.
I realize this news may be disappointing to hear for some of you, but I feel nothing but peace over this decision. I also realize that I just released the first book in a trilogy and that I have a responsibility to get the remaining books out. I wasn’t planning on publishing book two until after the wedding next year, and now it may be much further off than that. I’m not putting a date on those releases. They’ll come whenever God assures me that He is ready for me to release them.
But I need to get better first. This isn’t a rash decision, but one that has been bubbling up since Speak Your Mind released two years ago. Being an author has been my dream since I was seven years old, and being miserable 95% of the time is not the way to bring that dream to life.
Please respect this decision and don’t try to talk me out of it. This decision is between God and myself. The books will still be available for purchase. I will continue to post on my blog and social media, but with a renewed focus. If I’m writing for God, I need to write for God, and not sales.